Online dating in Nigeria can be awesome… but it won’t always be sunshine and roses. One minute you’re chatting with someone that makes you smile at your phone like a small pikin, next minute you’re wondering why a “civil engineer working on an oil rig in the Atlantic” needs your help to buy data.
Let’s be honest: online dating has become normal in Nigeria. From Lagos to Owerri, Abuja to Akure, people are meeting partners on dating apps, Facebook, Instagram, even WhatsApp groups. Some have found love, some have found heartbreak, and some have found premium tears with extra data subscription.
This article is not here to scare you away from love. Love is good. But common sense is better. Let’s talk about how dating scammers operate in Nigeria with real examples, and how you can protect yourself while still enjoying online dating.
The Reality of Dating Scams in Nigeria
Dating scams are real. Very real. According to reports from the EFCC and cybersecurity agencies, romance scams are one of the most common online fraud types in Nigeria — both Nigerians scamming foreigners and Nigerians scamming fellow Nigerians.
This one is important: dating scammers are not always young boys in a cyber café. Some are educated, well-spoken, and very patient. Some are women. Some are men. Some are even married with children and still doing a “side hustle” online.
And no, not every person online is a scammer. But enough of them exist that you must stay alert.
How Dating Scammers Usually Operate
Most scammers follow a pattern. Once you know it, you’ll easily spot the red flags.
1. They Move Too Fast Emotionally
If someone tells you “I’ve never felt like this before” after three days of chatting, calm down. If they say “I want to marry you” before knowing your middle name, be careful.
Real relationships take time. Scammers rush emotions because emotions block logic.
Real-life example:
A woman in Ibadan shared how a man she met on Facebook told her he loved her within one week and started calling her “my future wife”. Two weeks later, his “business account” was blocked and he needed ₦35,000 urgently. Once she sent it, he disappeared like NEPA light.
2. They Always Have a Sad Story
They alwayse need money for some emergency. For example:
- Their father is sick
- Their mother needs surgery
- Their business just crashed
- Their phone got stolen
- Their ATM card is not working
- Their salary is delayed
It’s always something. And somehow, you are the only person that can help.
Yes, life is hard in Nigeria, but if every week comes with a new emergency, please open your eyes. Make it a rule to never give money to people you meet online until you are engaged to be married.
3. They Avoid Physical Meetings Like The Plague
If someone keeps dodging video calls or physical meetups, ask yourself why.
Common excuses include:
- “My phone camera is bad”
- “Network is poor”
- “I’m shy”
- “I’m currently out of town”
- “Let’s meet later, when we know ourselves better”
Months pass. No meeting. No video call. But they’re very active when it’s time to ask for money.
4. Their Job Sounds Too Good or Too Strange
Be careful when someone claims to be:
- A foreign oil worker
- A military officer on peacekeeping mission
- An engineer abroad but “from Nigeria”
- A widowed doctor working with the UN
- A crypto trader who never loses
These roles are popular among scammers because they explain why the person can’t meet and why they “need help”.
Red Flags Nigerians Often Ignore (Because of Love or Pity)
Let’s be honest with ourselves.
Sometimes, the red flags are clear, but we ignore them because:
- “At least someone cares about me”
- “Maybe I’m overthinking”
- “He sounds sincere”
- “She prays a lot”
Prayer points are not proof of honesty.
If someone refuses to share basic details about themselves but wants to know everything about you, that’s a problem. If they get angry when you ask simple questions, that’s another problem.
Money Talk: The Biggest Danger Zone
Let’s make this very clear:
Once money enters an online relationship too early, danger has entered.
Never, ever send:
- Money
- Gift cards
- Crypto
- Phone
- Laptop
- Bank details
- OTP codes
Even if they promise to pay back. Even if they swear with their village shrine. Even if they call you “my king” or “my queen”.
In Nigeria, scammers often ask for:
- Data money
- Transport fare
- “Urgent ₦10k”
- “Help me invest”
- “Support my business”
Once you send money, you’ll be marked as a customer.
How to Stay Safe While Dating Online in Nigeria
Let’s talk solutions, not just problems.
1. Verify Identity Early
Ask for:
- Real name
- Clear pictures
- Video calls
- Social media profiles
Do small Google searches. Check consistency. If their stories keep changing, something is wrong.
2. Meet in Public Places
When you’re ready to meet:
- Choose a public place
- Tell someone where you’re going
- Avoid secluded areas
- Don’t overshare your home address
First meeting is not a time for “come to my house”.
3. Trust Your Instinct
That small voice telling you “something does not add up” — listen to it.
Your mind can lie, but your instinct is usually correct.
4. Use Reputable Dating Platforms
Good dating sites have:
- Reporting systems
- Safety guidelines
Avoid moving conversations too quickly to Telegram or WhatsApp, especially when you don’t know the person well.
5. Don’t Let Loneliness Decide for You
Loneliness is powerful. It can make you ignore obvious danger.
Remember:
- Being single is better than being scammed
- Love should bring peace, not anxiety
- Anyone who truly likes you will respect your boundaries
Cultural Reality Check
In Nigeria, we’re taught to be kind, helpful, and accommodating. Scammers exploit this.
They know we:
- Respect elders
- Believe emotional stories
- Value relationships
- Don’t like confrontation
Kindness is good. Blind kindness is dangerous.
Final Thoughts: Love With Sensibility
Many couples have met online and built strong marriages. But love should not make you lose your sensibility.
If someone truly wants you:
- They won’t rush you
- They won’t pressure you for money
- They won’t hide
- They won’t manipulate your emotions
Love should feel calm, not confusing.
Stay sharp. Stay safe. And remember — no matter how sweet the message sounds, common sense must always sit in front.