Online dating is now very common in Nigeria. Many people meet new friends, partners, and even future spouses through dating apps and websites. Whether you live in Lagos, Abuja, Port Harcourt, Ibadan, or anywhere else, chances are that someone around you has tried online dating before.
But as exciting as online dating can be, meeting someone offline for the first time requires caution. Love is good, but safety is better. This article is not meant to scare you. It is meant to help you enjoy dating while staying safe and smart.
Let’s start with a real-life situation.
A young woman met a man on a dating site. He sounded polite, educated, and responsible. After chatting for two weeks, they agreed to meet. The man suggested a quiet place so they could “talk freely.” Luckily, the woman insisted on a busy café instead. On the day of the meeting, the man stopped responding. Later, she discovered that his photos were taken from someone else’s social media page. If she had agreed to meet in a private place, the outcome could have been dangerous.
This is why safety rules matter.
1. Always Meet in a Public Place
Your first meeting must always happen in a public place. This is not something to compromise on.
Choose places like:
- Restaurants or cafés
- Shopping malls
- Cinemas
- Hotel lobbies
- Busy bars or lounges
Public places have people, security, and sometimes cameras. These things help keep you safe.
If someone insists that you come to their house, sit in their car, or meet in a quiet location, take that as a serious warning sign. A responsible person will understand why you prefer a public place.
2. Inform Someone Before You Go Out
Before leaving your house, tell someone where you are going and who you are meeting. This could be a friend, sibling, or trusted family member.
Share:
- The person’s name
- Their phone number
- Where you plan to meet
- The time of the meeting
Some people also share their live location on WhatsApp. This is a smart safety step, not an overreaction.
3. Do Basic Background Checks
You do not need to be a private investigator, but it is wise to do small checks.
Try to:
- Search the person’s name on Google
- Check if their social media profiles look real
- See if their photos and stories are consistent
If someone claims to live in a certain area but cannot describe it, or says they work in a company that does not seem to exist, ask questions. Honest people do not get angry when asked reasonable questions.
4. Handle Your Own Transportation
For the first meeting, always arrange your own transportation.
This means:
- Go to the venue by yourself
- Leave by yourself
Do not allow the person to pick you up or drop you off. Using ride-hailing services or public transport gives you full control. If you feel uncomfortable at any point, you can leave immediately without depending on anyone.
5. Avoid Sharing Too Much Personal Information
The first meeting is not the time to share everything about your life.
Avoid discussing:
- Your home address
- Details about living alone
- Your daily routine
- Your income or business details
Keep the conversation light and friendly. You can talk about hobbies, interests, and general life experiences. Personal details can come later, after trust has been built.
6. Observe Their Behaviour Carefully
Pay attention to how the person behaves, not just what they say.
Notice:
- How they speak to waiters or service staff
- How they talk about their past relationships
- Whether they respect your opinions and boundaries
Someone who is rude, aggressive, or disrespectful in small situations may show worse behaviour later.
7. Be Careful With Alcohol
If you drink alcohol, keep it minimal during a first meeting.
Too much alcohol reduces your awareness and decision-making. Always watch your drink and do not leave it unattended. If you leave the table for any reason, it is safer to get a new drink when you return.
If someone pressures you to drink more than you want, that is a clear red flag.
8. Trust Your Instincts
If something does not feel right, trust that feeling.
You do not need a dramatic reason to leave. Feeling uncomfortable is enough. You can politely excuse yourself, say you are not feeling well, or call a friend.
Your safety is more important than being polite.
9. Do Not Give or Borrow Money
The first meeting is not the time for money discussions.
If someone asks you for money, claims an emergency, or tries to emotionally pressure you, be very careful. Online dating scams are common in Nigeria, and many start this way.
Also, no one should pressure you to pay for everything. Any agreement about payment should feel comfortable and respectful.
10. Block and Report When Necessary
If someone harasses you, threatens you, or behaves inappropriately, block them and report their profile on the dating platform. Reporting helps protect other users as well.
Final Thoughts
Online dating can lead to meaningful relationships in Nigeria, but only when safety is taken seriously. Take your time, ask questions, and do not ignore warning signs.
The right person will respect your boundaries and understand your need for safety. Dating should be enjoyable, not stressful or dangerous.
Go out, meet new people, but always make choices that allow you to return home safely. Your well-being comes first.
Happy and safe dating!